Thursday, July 22, 2010

Tutorial: Butter

So, people are always posting clever things on blogs. Tutorials are some of my favorite things. I love looking at a few pictures to get the gist of "how to" do something the right way, and then just doing it my own way and crapping it up wonderfully.
I am usually not good enough at anything in particular to bother making a tutorial about it. That is, until today.
I proudly introduce TUTORIAL TUESDAY; presented on Thursday: (A one time event)

HOW TO EAT HALF A STICK OF BUTTER ALL BY YOURSELF
(in 10 easy steps, by Jen)

Step 1.
Get a fun cook/craft book from your Mom as an early Christmas present. Open it up and decide you immediately MUST make something delightful from it.
Step 2.
Realize you have almost no food supplies in the house. Squeal with glee when you realize you have the necessary ingredients to make something!
Step 3.
Open stick of butter.
Step 4.
Melt in pan along with a bunch of brown sugar.
Step 5.
Cook till bubbly and evil.
Step 6.
Pour over crushed pecans.
Step 7.
Top with chocolate chips. When chips are melty, spread.
Step 8.
Put in refrigerator. Check every 5 minutes to see if chocolate has hardened. When you realize it's taking way too long, move pan to freezer. Continue checking on it way too often.
Step 9.
Decide it's clearly never going to be done, and just take a fork and start chopping away at the edges where the chocolate is solid. Make sure to eat any stray bits that fly around.
Step 10.
Leave for 5 minutes, return, and repeat step 9.


There you have it. In no time, you will have eaten a fair amount of the pan of toffee, and realize that there was a WHOLE STICK of BUTTER in it and wallow in your gluttony the rest of the night.



Slightly related: The butter/cat paradox
click to watch the cat spin round & round!

1 comment:

Megan said...

OK, that was too stinkin funny. You crack me up! And now I really want to eat some of that stuff.